Bushwalking Maladies

[north-north-west]

Part 1: ARTHURITIS

Only recently described by the medical profession, Arthuritis is a complex syndrome involving many, varied and, sometimes, apparently contradictory symptoms, both psychological and physiological.
These include (but are not limited to):
Weight loss
Physical exhaustion
Mental lassitude
Pain and/or stiffness in joints and/or muscles
Bruising and/or superficial scrapes/cuts
Difficulty sleeping (in a bed)
Unrealistic self-evaluation (ie: "North Face of Everest without oxygen or thermals? Let's go!")
Disinterest in previous activities (ie: "AAWT? Larapinta? Kilimanjaro? bleccch, boring.")

There is still some question as to whether it is a virus or a largely psychosomatic condition, but there is no doubt that it only manifests in individuals who have recently travelled for the first time in a particular area, so professional opinion is largely in favour of the virus theory. There is also debate as to which of the two strains - Eastern or Western - is the most virulent.
Also, it is always more severe amongst those who have travelled alone.

It must be noted that as there is currently no effective treatment, particular attention must be given in case prospective sufferers exhibit symptoms of the usual precursor ailment Rumourtoid Arthuritis. This is characterised by an obsession with the area in question, and an insistence on gathering as much information about it as is possible: photographs, maps, anecdotes, track notes, etc. Permanent quarantine may be the only way to prevent the otherwise inevitable progression of the disease.

Last edited by north-north-west on Tue 29 Mar, 2011 12:54 pm, edited 2 times in total.

[stepbystep]

Nice, think I'm getting Rumourtoid Arthuritis(Eastern strain). Good to put a name to it.
Have had to lock away maps etc. Long time before this will become full blown I fear.

[doogs]

I suffer from claustrophobia and have panic attacks when stuck indoors too long. Luckily there is a cure, but only short term as it is a recurrent problem.

[alliecat]

Brilliant!

Sorry, no witty follow-ups - I just wanted to say that this i absolutely brilliant NNW.

[Nuts]

Just imagine how much harder it is for those of us also stuck permanently in a state of Tasmania

[ollster]

I had a little lol. Some other common ailments (mostly mental disorders, stands to reason really) off the top of my head:

-Algonkaphobia
-Frenchman's Capatonia
-Strzophrenia
-Byatts Razor Back
-Jilette's Syndrome
-Mount Elephantitis
-Molly York's Nightmare Disorder
-Premature Summit-Elation
-Narcissus Personality Disorder

and of course the very uncomfortable "Clytemnestra" and "Pine Knob" - enough said.

[doogs]

I had a little lol. Some other common ailments (mostly mental disorders, stands to reason really) off the top of my head:

-Algonkaphobia
-Frenchman's Capatonia
-Strzophrenia
-Byatts Razor Back
-Jilette's Syndrome
-Mount Elephantitis
-Molly York's Nightmare Disorder
-Premature Summit-Elation
-Narcissus Personality Disorder

and of course the very uncomfortable "Clytemnestra" and "Pine Knob" - enough said.

I was close to this yesterday - wetpants!

[Son of a Beach]

I've found that the joint problems associated with arthuritis fade slowly over the course of few months, but can re-occur again suddenly later.

Thanks for the detailed analysis of this condition, NNW.

[frenchy_84]

-Premature Summit-Elation

Those false summits get me going all the time!

[ILUVSWTAS]

I prefer natural ones over false ones.

[Drifting]

My students have Rectal encephalitis....

[Nick S]

Narcissus personality disorder.. that's great. All I could think of was having a hartz attack.

I had a little lol. Some other common ailments (mostly mental disorders, stands to reason really) off the top of my head:

-Algonkaphobia
-Frenchman's Capatonia
-Strzophrenia
-Byatts Razor Back
-Jilette's Syndrome
-Mount Elephantitis
-Molly York's Nightmare Disorder
-Premature Summit-Elation
-Narcissus Personality Disorder

and of course the very uncomfortable "Clytemnestra" and "Pine Knob" - enough said.

Sent from my HTC Desire using Tapatalk

[ollster]

Narcissus personality disorder.. that's great. All I could think of was having a hartz attack.

It's when you get out early for the ferry, but find it's full of people doing the cruise, and have to wait.

[north-north-west]

All I could think of was having a hartz attack.:

Neat. That's as good as Premature Summit-Elation.

[pazzar]

I once knew a man with the Boomerang syndrome - it kept on coming back

[melinda]

Surely the cure is to go back as soon as possible!
That's what I'm thinking.
The weather has to be better next time.........

[north-north-west]

Actually, the desire to return as soon as possible is one of the most insidious symptoms.
Eventually, you aren't happy unless you're out there, all day, every day. And the rest of the range (east or west, depending on where you are) beckons. It's incurable.

[stepbystep]

Actually, the desire to return as soon as possible is one of the most insidious symptoms.
Eventually, you aren't happy unless you're out there, all day, every day. And the rest of the range (east or west, depending on where you are) beckons. It's incurable.

I have a strong suspicion the Western strain is far more virulent than the East, as evident by my current screen saver, desktop image, mobile phone wallpaper and the fact I've re-read my track notes almost every evening before bed........
I do have a strong itch in my DuCanes though.....

[north-north-west]

Thanks to some photos I've seen lately, I'm also suffering from Hippo Dysplacia.

[MJD]

I needed a White Needle to fix my Achilles and the less said about the Little Split Rock the better!

[north-north-west]

Of course, you have to be careful taking infants into the bush, or they could get Cradle Cap, while those of corby's vintage need to be concerned about Ossaporosis.

And we've all felt that major depression when we're unable to get out into the bush as often as we want: The Great Pine Tears.